Can You Forgive A Cheater

I have quite strong opinions on this particular topic and me doing a recent video brought them to light. I’ve seen and experienced this first hand and luckily I had a lucky escape and wasn’t attached/didn’t find out till after. But I have had to experience close friends of mine go through the excessive heart-break while they let an unfaithful partner back into their life with the promises that they’ve changed. Having to be the shoulder to cry on in these situations can be hard and I learned a lot from it. This is just my opinion, we’re all entitled to say what we feel on the subject so feel free to add to this article in the comments below.
Picture of text saying “Can You Forgive A Cheater”
It Was An Accident
If you’ve been in the situations where your partner had a meaningless one night stand, then it’s more than likely that you heard the words “It was an accident” An accident to me is dropping a glass, getting a virus on a computer, taking the wrong turning, not having sex with someone, it’s like classing robbing someone’s house and dropping a glass in the same category, it’s just not possible, nor logical.
What does this mean?
It means that no matter what they say, whether they try “it was a mistake”, “everyone has accidents” or any of the other corny sentences. That they’re usually they’re lying to you.
Which opens up a load of harmful worms like:
They wanted to have sex with someone enough to ruin what we had
Their only calling it a mistake because they got caught
They did it once, they’ll do it again
The most hurtful thing about it all is the stupidity and this is even more hurtful when you both had a really good relationship and want to repair it after something like this has happened.
Text saying “Will a Cheater Do It Again?”
Will They Do It Again
You know when you’re on a diet and you don’t eat anything bad for the first 2 months, it becomes easy to not eat bad foods, but when there’s a time that your only choice is a bad food and you eat it, you’ll find that the diet is never the same, you might get a lot of guilt after eating the bad food, but once you’ve started, it then becomes less of a big deal to eat bad food after it.
If they gave into their will power this time, what’s to say they won’t do it over and over again? I’d say the first time is the hardest and once you’ve done it, from that point on-wards it actually becomes easier.
Now I’m not saying that all people are the same, but I’ve been out with a few men and women who’ve cheated and they still seem openly available even once they’re back with their partner (This maybe something to do with their age, 20 – 30 years old).
Trusts Never Back Fully
I was once in a car crash, it was pretty bad and was just from someone falling asleep and drifting over the other side of the road, everyone was fine, but after that I never felt the same about cars, I also have a complete lack of trust for other drivers.
Now I know cheating is different, but I find the concept of trust remains the same across the board. It’s been around 2 years and I still don’t fully trust drivers and unless you’re extremely confident and happy, you’re going to find it hard to trust your partner in any way for years after the incident.
Like would you trust them going out and spending the night with a person from the opposite sex who’s semi attractive? Even after years it’ll be hard to give them that level of trust and you’ll be more focused on cheating prevention, than trust, which makes your life a big ball of stress.
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Something I saw first hand was the judgement that the person who’d been cheated on got when taking back the person who cheated. It’s something you’ve got to think about, even though it’s disgusting and I don’t agree with it, people will call you doormat and usually look down on your relationship from then on. I only say this because I’ve experienced people who’ve had this done to them and still receive it on a daily basis. IT’s heart breaking and frustrated being reminded everyday about what your partner did to you.
Main Problem
Have you ever broken up with a partner before and then got back together? If you have then you’ll know what I mean when I say “It’s not the same relationship once you get back together”.
I’m not sure what happens but once you’ve broken up once the relationship loses a lot of meaning and all of a sudden breaking up becomes more common and even down to the point where personalities have changed.
You occur a more intense version of this once somebody cheats, the power is shifted, trust destroyed and the person who’s been cheated on starts resenting the other partner and the fact that they love them.
I’ll say this isn’t in all cases, but just in my experience.
So, the question I ask is “If the relationship is so different to the point it feels like you’re both different people and that you’re starting from scratch, is their point in continuing it?”.
Picture of text saying “Breakdown of can you forgive a cheater”
On this type of article I feel like I can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. All I can say is you truly need to think about your future and what they did, don’t hold back on the details and truly ask yourself if you want to spend the years rebuilding something that might be broken beyond repair?
Extra Bonus: My List of 3 Amazing Resources
How I Heal Emotional Pain (Powerful technique) – This video by my tiny secrets has a great technique for healing pain you may feel after being cheated on.
For cheaters who were forgiven, are you really sorry you cheated? – Someone asked this amazing question on reddit, the answers really made me understand.
7 Things You Need To Know About Forgiving A Cheating Spouse – Seriously easy to read article about forgiving a cheating partner by Suzie
What do you think? Can you find forgiveness for a cheater
This was more of a rant, It’s not even about the cheating it’s more about the time people waste rebuilding something when it’s broken beyond repair. I’d love to know your opinion on this below, please leave a comment. Have an amazing day, Oli.

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