How To Deal With Your Ex

Dealing with an ex partner can and often is a very awkward, frustrating and damn right annoying experience. I’m Oli and this article is written from a perspective of someone who wants to move on with their life, but has an ex that won’t let that happen, for whatever reason.
I’ve made some dumb mistakes in ex relationships and in honesty been a very selfish person. But through doing that I learned how to correctly deal with an ex, so that you can both move on with limiting damages to your future relationships.
Picture of me with title text “how to deal with your ex”
Lucky Escape (My Story)
Whether its waking up with a girl looking at me with an angry face like she’s going to kill me and me just shutting my eyes and pretending that I haven’t seen while feeling the eyes burn into my head or having to run into a dark forest in the middle of nowhere to find a girl who’s had enough of my s**t and just walked off. These situations were both fixed by taking the easy way out (could have saved my life).
IE: Say whatever is needed to minimize confrontation, anger and danger. Basic human instincts.
But by doing this you create something called false hope, this fuels love and can make people do stupid things.
I had a lucky escape, I got out of these situations which for your sake I’ve dumbed down and made light of (there could have been a knife involved D:). But I got out of them by lying, so we’ll start this off by talking about closure.
Give Them Closure (Don’t Tell Them What They Want To Hear)
Given the chance again I’d lie without a doubt, but instead of just lying and then taking the ignore approach I’d of instead lied to get into a safe, controlled environment and then said what I was actually thinking and how I actually felt.
You see by giving people false hope to save their feelings you actually stop them from moving on and make their life very difficult. While also making yours as equally bad, because depending on the person they can cause absolute havoc in your life without even trying.
So, once you stop loving them, tell them in a decent way and cut off all chances of the relationship starting up again.
Text “Clear things up”
Clear Things Up (Let Them Talk)
As much as I may have been an ass and take full responsibility for it, I did let people speak and did my best to face these awkward moments head on.
One of the breakthrough moments in my life came when I sat down and let someone talk after an argument. I then realized that the easiest way to give them closure and make them move on is to just hear them out and listen to everything they have to say. Hear their side of the story and answer their questions, this allows them to get closure.
Tip: Don’t make false reasons as to why you’re breaking up. By lying to them about something you can build a whole complex around their personality and appearance that just isn’t fair. So, sometimes be the bigger person and just be honest in a way that’ll protect their feelings.
Ask “What They Want To Happen”
Everyone likes to feel like they have an element of control. So without giving them false hope you should ask them what they’d like to happen. This is extremely tricky, you’ve got to give them comfort without making them rely on you.
Picture of me with text “Cut all communication with your ex”
Cut All Communication
The next step is to cut all communication with them. This is the most hurtful and hard to cope with stage, it involves deleting numbers, texts, Facebook, Twitter, anything that allows you to watch them/stalk them (and them do the same to you).
Tip: You’ll want to send them a message before just saying why you’re doing it and say you just think it’s best to both have space and to be able to move on without conflicting each others lives.
This sometimes will cause confrontation, but if done in a polite manner, it’s the best thing for you both.
Avoiding Vs Harsh Avoiding
You never want to completely avoid them, it’s hard and also isn’t necessary. You should stop going to your usual meetups, but if you ever see them out, then be the bigger person and say hello, just don’t sit talking for hours.
Remember relationships usually seem much better once you’re out of them, don’t let that routine trick you into replacing your relationship.
Text “Avoid Gossip”
Don’t Blab Or Talk About Them
Unless you want them to confront you BIG TIME, you need to completely shut off any bad things you want to say about them. Feel free to talk to yourself about them, but there’s no value in sharing them with anyone else.
They usually get back to that persona and will only hurt them or start a little war between you both. So, even if they’re stirring up trouble just ignore it and move on.
Do Everything You Can To Not Relapse
The biggest mistake you could ever make would be following through all these steps then getting jealous and trying to get them back. There’s life after you follow this list and life before. The problems you’ll occur if you relapse within the first 6 months are just not worth the risks to both of you.
So, unless you have some real-time apart and still feel the same way you should avoid drunk texts, flirting, meeting with them and starting things back up.
Picture of me outside with text “No Social Media Bragging to your ex partner”
No Social Media Bragging
Even if you’re with the girl/boy of your dreams, don’t go putting it all over Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, they’ll be able to see it as they’ll use a friend’s account and when they do it’ll just cause problems especially if you have a new partner within the first month of breaking up.
So don’t brag/rub it in their face on social media. It’s the only way you’ll really get the out of your life, as eventually they’ll have nothing to feed off of. 🙂
Extra Resources
How To Deal With Your Ex – Dr. Nerdlove hit it out the park with one of the best articles on dealing with ex’s.
10 Signs Your Ex Is Actually, Legitimately A Psycho – If she ticks the boxes… Run! Seriously RUN, hide and don’t sleep without protection. 😉
Picture of me with text “karma safe ways to deal with your ex”
The cruelest thing you can do is leave them hanging. I speak from a place of guilt when I talk about that. So to avoid you having to do the same, just make sure you let them know where they stand and the fact you’re not going to get back together. I hope this has helped. If you need anyone to talk to or some extra advice please use the comments. Have a lovely day. Oli.

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