No matter what age you are talking to women can seem like a very scary and daunting task. And due to that some men get tongue-tied, lose their train of thought and others don’t approach at all. I’m here to clear you of all negative advice and help you learn how to talk to girls and dominate the conversations.
How To Talk To A Girl You Like
Don’t Plan Whole Sentences
I’m a natural Introvert and always have been, so before I got confidence I used to script 80% of all interactions with both men and women.
This was a horrible idea and was the reason I sucked so hard with women in my teens. It wasn’t till one night where a girl caught me off guard and I was forced to stay in the moment and make conversation up as we went along, I saw how she reacted and noticed that we both became more present to the moment and had one of the best conversations ever.
What I learnt was simple, you can have topics of conversation lined up, but never plan out everything word for word. Because when you do, you become like an emotionless robot, who gets tongue-tied, runs out of stuff to say almost instantly and gets super nervous.
Example: Most people don’t script whole conversations, but they do script the first 30 seconds, IE: Hey, what’s your name? Mines Oli, nice to meet you, etc. And this isn’t always bad, if you’re confident and do it from muscle memory, but for most guys that’s not the case and that’s why the most awkward part of 9 out of 10 conversations is the first part where you’ve scripted it.
So, instead of scripting, just be you, stay present, talk about what’s on your mind and try to keep her in the moment. You’ll be amazed with how easy talking becomes when you use these principles.
Make Your Life Interesting
Generally the more crazy s**t you do, the easier it is to talk to girls. I try to do one activity that takes me out of my comfort zone every month (^That’s me skydiving in spain^). This makes me seem like a super interesting person, while also making me almost fearless when it comes to women.
Example: If you can get yourself to jump 15,000 feet out of an airplane, starting a conversation with a random girl doesn’t seem so difficult anymore.
Tip: It doesn’t have to be as extreme as skydiving, just anything that takes you out of your comfort zone and gets your adrenaline flowing.
pick engaging stories to tell her
Pick Your Stories Carefully (What Side Do You Want To Show Her)
You can change the way someone treats you by the stories you tell them. For example, have you ever not been threatened by a man and then you found out a twisted story about them and all of a sudden felt nervous in their company?
Well, you can use this to your benefit and no I don’t mean by lying about your life, even though that has been proven to work. Instead talk about real things you’ve experienced, but always paint yourself out to be the leader (alpha male) and a man of abundance.
For example, being the instigator, having other females in your stories and not taking things too seriously are all great qualities to apply to the stories you tell women.
go out for 30 minutes each day
Go Out For 30 Minutes Every Single Day
I go into submersion with work for months at a time, I usually have contact with a max of 3 – 5 people over the space of them months and this completely destroys my confidence and brings me back to my introverted ways.
A great way I’ve found to remain in the zone, keeping my confidence sky-high and my ability to talk to any women in tact, is to simply go out 30 minutes everyday.
Whether you’re a socially awkward person, an introvert or just someone who gets nervous around new people, try going outside everyday for at least 30 minutes. This could be for a walk, to go for a coffee, to meet a friend, even go to the shops. Just anything that surrounds you with new people and gets you outside.
Ask the girl loads of questions
The best conversations people will have are the ones where they talk about themselves, add massive input and have a strong opinion.
So, the easiest way to keep a girls attention is to ask her questions. Don’t interrogate her, just ask things that then lead into other conversations:
What type of music do you like?
Have you ever been to a comedy show?
What Are You Studying?
Where Do You Work?
What’s Your Dream Job?
People love getting questions like these and they usually lead onto other conversation topics that are related and interesting.
keep things short
Keep Things Short And Sweet (Creates More Attraction)
If you know you can’t take a girl home with you that night, keep things short and sweet.
Think of her energy as this line: _______ and when you first come into contact the energy goes ——– The higher you get her energy the more likely she is to remember you and relate you with being awesome.
By keeping things short, full of energy, naughty and enjoyable you take her from here _____ to here —— then to here ^^^^^^.
Exact example of what this feels like: Have you ever meet someone who you talked to for five minutes, and after all you want to do is see them again? And even if you never see them again you still remember that five minutes and crave something similar. That was simply from someone taking you off autopilot and really boosting your energy.
Tips to create this: Be energetic, happy, confident and come from a place of abundance, don’t expect anything from her, just see your job as getting her excited and positive.
Talk to women on a regular basis
Talk To Women On A More Regular Basis
Whether it’s your sister or female friend, you need to be socializing with women consistently. I’ve been surrounded by female company a lot and when this occurs I always find it easier to talk, flirt and have fun with women.
You’ll also be surprised about how much women will teach you about other women.
Touch her while making her happy
Touch Her Whilst Talking
While I’m flirting with a girl I make subtle touches to their body. I’ll sometimes pull them closer, then move away. Touch their wrists, grab their hand in an attempt to make a joke, even lock arms and start walking with them.
This creates a stronger attraction and paints you as an alpha male who’s got confidence, it can also get some funny responses all of which will teach you what you should and shouldn’t do while picking up girls.
Believe What You Say Has Value
I have an insane passion for self improvement, sex, love, dating and the psychology of all them things. So, when I talk to women about any of them subjects my passion spreads and I find them getting excited, adding their input and even getting extremely interested by me.
I’m lucky because sex is something we all have in common, it’s the reason we’re here right now and is the reason you’re reading this article. But fear not if your passion isn’t as good as sex, because as long as you love it with all your heart it’ll spread and engage her.
Example: Imagine a cute girl whose passion is reading palms and telling people about their future. You could be a guy who usually has no time for someone with that interest, but before you know it she’s grabbing your hand, making you laugh and sharing her passion with you by telling you about your future. She does this with so much confidence that you actually start enjoying it and becoming extremely interested in her.
That was just a random example, but it works with almost any passion.
Be present to the moment
Women Love A Man With Presence (Meditating Time)
You’ll always see women enjoy a man who “stays in the moment” and anyone can be that guy as long as you start meditating.
One of the most powerful tools in my life when it comes to confidence and sex has been meditation. It keeps me in the moment which makes me worry less, lowers anxiety and makes sex incredible.
Do this for 5 to 20 minutes everyday.
Step One. – Find a calm place to meditate where you don’t workout, work or sleep.
Step Two. – Set an alarm.
Step Three. – Sit down, keep your back straight, your eyes open and focused and then breathe in (Hold for 2 seconds) – Breathe out (Hold for 2 seconds), repeat this 5 times and you’ll feel more relaxed with every breath.
Step Four. – Try to think about nothing, just focus on your breathing.
Tip: You will have thoughts throughout the whole process, just let them pass without anger and do your best to focus back on your breathing.
Do this for three weeks without missing one single day and I guarantee you feel a massive difference in your life.
Avoid Gossip And Bad Mouthing People
Nobody likes a gossip and even though it seems fun at the time, it’s not going to be something they remember you for.
Nobody goes “God I love Oli, he’s such a good gossiper” and if they do that means you’re deep in the friend zone.
Control The Complements
Control The Complements
Women love being complimented, but it doesn’t make them fall in love with you. So, control the complements, show your interest, but don’t over do it.
I’d try not to say compliments like “You’re gorgeous” but instead do something cheesy like start introducing her to your friends as your future girlfriend, this isn’t a direct complement, but it shows you’re not interested in being friend zoned.
Obviously depending on your confidence, background, accent and personality, different complements will work for you, just always try to be indirect and different in what you say when complementing.
Be positive with her
There’s so many people who blame everything on everyone else and are caught in their own bad moods. So if you’re a positive person and remain positive and happy, people become attracted to you and want to spend time with you. You also stick out like a sore thumb so you get more attention.
This is ideal for when you want to take a girl from one night stand to long-term girlfriend without having to continue playing a game with her emotions in order to keep her interested.