Ways Self Improvement Made My Relationship Amazing

I always try to start this type of article with something about me and the truth is before I started improving myself I sucked at most aspects of life. I used to suck with women, find it hard to keep conversations, get jealous over nothing and even when I got a girl I used to sit fixating on her cheating with someone while she was away from me (creepy…).

This was incredibly poisonous for all my relationships both male and female and caused me to spend a lot of time alone. The hardest thing about this all was the fact that I genuinely love people, love to talk and always want to get involved with events and doing new things. At that time in my life I luckily found a friend that helped me socialize and grow confident again and then I started self improving and since it’s changed my life in more ways than I can count.

So, whether your relationship is good, bad or non-existent, I want to share the advice that made me get a relationship, keep a relationship and then massively improve that relationship. I hope you enjoy.

Self Improvement

My Fitness And Diet With The First Step

When I was thirteen year-olds I was fat, I actually weighed more than I do now and I was also short, I was around 4 feet 8″, so as you can imagine not a very good look.

I was around fourteen when I snapped and decided to start hitting the gym and soon after that I started eating a much healthier diet.

This was the real turning point and is the first place I recommend everybody starts, because once you get a good diet, other things just start falling into place.

After a year of training I lost the weight, got much taller, mastered consistency and felt much happier in my body.

Why did this help my relationship?

Well, the gym helped me master consistency and made me hate giving up. I’d say the best lesson I learned from looking after my fitness was to keep my word and not just move on after a few weeks of trying something.

But, in all honesty this was just the start, I still had a toxic mind and used to fuel my passion for training with anger and frustration. So, even though it helped my relationship in the long run, at the time I was still very reserved and all about coping.

Self Improvement

Take Full Responsibility

When I reached sixteen I had already been out of school for 3 years, I’d finally built up two good friends and was finally getting out and having fun at the weekends.

Both my friends were 3 – 4 years older than me and within 2 months of hanging out with them I’d picked up a name “excuses” as I did love to make excuses as to why I couldn’t do something.

Within a few months of that name I learned to start taking full responsibility for my life, relationships and career. I still had a ridiculously long way to go, as I was still on my own for around 6 days and sometimes even two weeks at a time. Lets say I learned to become my own best friend (How sad).

Why did this help my relationship?

All my relationships both friends and lovers I take full responsibility for. I find if you only take 50% then it’ll always be the other persons 50% that’s in the wrong and to blame. As when you just take full responsibility, you focus more on fixing/resolving the problem and less on finding a new person/thing to blame.

My Mind – Meditating/Relaxation

So, up until the age of around seventeen I still had a toxic mind, I’ve always loved life and people, but I was just addicted to negativity and used to get a kick off bad news and problems.

Now, at this point in my life I’d had girlfriends, been friend-zoned and even been cheated on (didn’t know at the time, probably for the best). Shortly after all that I started learning how awesome being an unpopular kid was.

Reasons: Most of the popular kids I know now suffer with something I call pretty boy/girl syndrome (completely made up), they’ve looked good all their life so most of them never developed a personality to get women/men’s attention, so now they’re getting older and the years of bad nutrition, drink and drugs are messing with their looks, they’re actually sucking at meeting women/men. Were as the unpopular kids/teens had to work bloody hard to even have a conversation with the opposite sex are now starting to shine. No hate to popular kids, as I do know some who got their s**t together and are doing awesome :).

It wasn’t till I was eighteen that I finally put a stop to the negativity, I started controlling the TV I watched, the music I listened to and I started ignoring gossip and something as simple as this changed my emotions completely around.


This is a bit of a weird subject that people are a little funny about, but I can honestly say meditation helped me become happy, its made me much better in the bedroom and has helped me through the process of blocking out negativity.

So, whether it’s meditation or relaxation your body needs some quiet time once in a while, so give it a try.

Beating Light Social Anxiety

Because I spent so many years teaching myself and not socializing with any different people I gained light social anxiety. The way I put a stop to it was simple, I went out every single day for 30 minutes and put myself in situations that made my anxiety go up, on a regular basis.

After a few months of doing this my confidence kicked back in and as long as I don’t stop, I find that my confidence just keeps getting stronger.

Tip: Even if you just go and get a coffee/tea once a day it’ll really help you gain strength in social situations, give it a try to see how far you go within a month.

Why did this help my relationship?

For once I wanted to control the conversation, make the move and be in control. I actually started getting a kick off of being the center of attention and the more I socialize and went out, the more addicted I got. This is was probably the most important part in my self-improvement process.

Ways Self Improvement Made My Relationship Amazing

One Extreme Activity Every Month

One of the most simple things I do that has changed my life and relationships is the one extreme activity challenge.

I love to go completely out of my comfort zone once every month, this could be skydiving, scuba diving, bungee jumping (doing that next month), canoeing, hiking, mountain biking, just about anything that takes me out of your comfort zone and makes me scared.

Why I do this?

I find that after I went skydiving I was on a high for around 2 – 3 months after, it made talking to new people easy and basically took some of the fear out of life. So by doing this every month it’s easy to stay on cloud nine.

Ways Self Improvement Made My Relationship Amazing

Traveling Round Europe

I could literally talk about self-improvement for another 10,000 words, but I already had to cut 1,000 words, so I’ll just end with this last bit of advice.

I’ve always wanted to travel (like most people), but I realized lifes a trap, when you have the time to travel you don’t have the money, when you have the money you don’t have the time, then I remembered about my old name “excuses” and I just decided to go for it, I learned that if you plan carefully you can travel without having a big budget, especially if you drive a car and I also learned this by living in England for 6 months in some random town, then going round Europe and now living in Spain for 6 months, to then go back to England to start off in a new city. Yes there’s lots of living on beans on toast and super noodles, but my god it’s fun.

While traveling you meet new people, try new foods, open your mind and realize that the world isn’t so bad. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 40, you need to travel as much as physically possible, to as many places as you can, because every time you go somewhere new you learn something weird and gain another story.

Advice: One thing I’ve seen is that there’s always one nutter in every single town I’ve been. Weird yet extremely true.

End: The thing I learned from all these years is the comfort zone is the most uncomforting place in this world. You’ll have no money, be lonely, stay in the same city and never experience life. But, by just stepping out of your comfort zone, you unlock all the best things in life and because so few people do it, you’ll be surprised what you can achieve by giving it a try. So have an awesome day and do your best to try something new this week.

Ways Self Improvement Made My Relationship Amazing

You can do with this advice what you will, I just hope it helped you as much as it helped me. I hope you have a wonderful day and If you need anything at all just message me. Cheers, Oli.

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